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I have the privilege of helping to take care of 3 precious little boys many times throughout the week; yes this is in addition to the full time job I have. The boys are 6 years, 4 years and 19 months…yes, quite precious.

I love the innocence of children; I love how they will tell you what is really on their minds, with no regard to how it may make other people feel. I think the boys remind me the importance of raw honesty sometimes, and I appreciate the simplicity of my conversations with them.

I also love how kids mimic and repeat sayings they pick up from their surroundings. For example, it has become evident to me lately that the boys’ mother must refuse them certain food items because of the sugar content. I know this because the boys have an unusual perception and fascination with sugary foods lately.

For example, the other day I was following Reid up the stairs and we were talking about popcorn. I told him I preferred Kettlecorn (“sweet popcorn” as we call it) to the butter popcorn that he and his brothers liked, and he asked me why I didn’t like the “movie theater butter” kind. I said I just liked the sweet popcorn better. He said, “well you know they both have sugar in them.”

“Really?” I said, ” I think the butter one probably doesn’t, it’s just salty.”

“Well, salt has sugar in it.”

“Oh, really, it does? I didn’t think it did.”

“Yeah, the sugar is inside the salt.”

“Are you sure? The salt particles are awfully small…”

“Yeah, I’m sure, the sugar is smaller.”

So, there you go…I paid The University Of North Texas 10′s of thousands of dollars to study chemistry and in all my years (and there were many) I never learned such insightful things as I have from a 4 year old. Thanks a lot “Mean Green.”

Last week my club, the Pilot Club of North Dallas, volunteered at Scottish Rite Hospital for Children. My club is a community service organization that focuses on brain related disorders and promotes protecting your brain. The North Dallas chapter was started in March 2006 and I was one of the founding members of our chapter. Our even at Scottish Rite had been a while in the making, as we had wanted to volunteer at a children’s hospital for a while. When we arrived on Wednesday we found out that the Dallas Morning Newspaper would be sending a photographer out to take pictures for a story that was being done on our club…and we were all pretty excited because we need the exposure since we are trying to build our (pathetic) membership.

All went well; it was amazing to teach the children about brain safety and to talk to them afterwards. In the end, we ended up being in the paper and so on Saturday morning I went to the store to go buy a couple of copies that I could send to family.

After I had checked out, I was walking to my car and as I got in and swung the door closed, I simultaneously reached back to grab my seat belt. Except I grasped the door jam instead and the door closed on my hand. I think I was in shock because I just stared back at my hand thinking, “hmmmm…the door is closed and my hand is in the door jam. Hmmmm…this is not good.” So I reached across with my other hand and released the door and quickly pulled my hand out.

PAUSE here. Normally this would be the part in the story where explicative and fists of fury (or at least one fist in this case) pounded the steering wheel in anger entered the picture. But, you see, I am trying to figure out why I get so angry over such trivial things. Because really, in the perspective of all that is in the world, me getting some fingers pinched in a door is hardly worth expending my energy over. Really.

So at this moment, realizing I had the choice to make about whether or not I would let my anger win; I put my head on the steering wheel, and took a deeeeeeeeeep breath in and out. Then I looked up and thought, “ok, what I need to know is can I bend my fingers. If I can, I’m in good shape, if not, then I need to go get some help.” I looked down and my fingers slowly bent and got straight again. Good. No broken bones. So I grabbed the steering wheel and turned out of the parking space and headed home.

I’m relieved that I passed that “test” because it lets me know that God is really working on my heart and giving me strength when I need it most. It is so easy to cave in to your flesh when you are alone and I think that is when we must cling to God the most, when we are alone, because really, we are never alone; he is always with us…

Isaiah 41:9-10

9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Hello long lost world of bloggers…I am back…though I can’t confirm that it will be in the same capacity as before. Things are so different now than they were back then. Nonetheless I am excited to start writing again…

I look forward to hearing from you all soon…

I’m in a new chapter of life. I finally landed my first post-college job and it has truly been amazing! I am working for a great company and an even better boss! I get to do what I love day in and day out and I am highly valued for what I bring to the table and I am encouraged to do what I do well. So with all of this, why has my soul turned downcast suddenly?
I guess it would be fair to say it hasn’t exactly been a sudden transformation. In fact, it has been almost 2 years in the making. My prior place of employment slowly wore me down to the bitter woman I was just earlier this year. It was a long process of being continually ignored, not being challenged, not being offered chances for growth, etc. and I’ll admit, I came to look forward to the moments I could cry “foul”, at least I found something to look forward to…right? But it bred a skeptical girl who felt like she always had to look out for herself, and look over her shoulder at the same time. I never knew whose knife I would find in my back…
So a couple of months ago when I landed this amazing opportunity for personal and professional growth – I jumped at the chance to free myself from the oppressive place I had come to find myself. And things are great now…that is until 2 weeks ago when I got the letters on my desk. The return address was not familiar to me, so I eagerly opened the envelope…but soon my eagerness disappeared and fear took its place. As I read the lines, “It has come to the attention of our client, your previous employer…contractual agreement…violated…legal action…damages, fees…” I stared at the pages in horror. Seriously? Was this really happening? Suddenly I thought to myself, “This comes from a supposedly Christian woman running a “Christian company.” But correct me if I am wrong…but didn’t Christ, knowing the motives and actions of everyone around him, even before they occurred, leave a legacy by the way he treated others? So then, wouldn’t the term Christian imply “Christ-likeness?” How then, was this action to be perceived by me as a Christ-like thing to do? Easy…it wasn’t.
It’s crazy how much faith we put in each other. Like, how we truly hope to never be disappointed by another human being…yet it is inevitable. We are flawed. Dangerously flawed, and dangerously seeking dependability on someone. I think the first part gets in the way of the second, our flawed nature causes us to make the mistake of seeking dependability in people. See, if we could recognize that our flaws make us blind to what is truly dependable, we would remember that God is faithful and made it so that we never have to know what it is like to be forsaken (forgotten) by him. Maybe the problem isn’t that others aren’t dependable, it’s that we can’t accept that.
I can’t expect anything more from them (my past employer) than what they give me. If they are giving me a bitter taste in my mouth, then I have to accept that. I don’t have to like it, but I do have to accept it. I have to accept that God’s plan in all of this is bigger than my feeble mind can know. I have to accept that God works all things together for the good of me, that I may be more like Christ for it. And really, if a little legal tiff is all it takes for me to become more like him, then how can I not rejoice? I mean, I know of other’s whom he has demanded so much more from for their sanctification, and not that he won’t have a path like that for me one day, but now these trials are quite trivial.
Why should I fear man? What can he do to me? I should not fear those who can kill the body, but rather I should fear Him who can kill the soul…one with Himself I cannot die, my soul is purchased with His blood, my life is hid with Christ on high…with Christ my Savior and my God…My name is graven on His hands, my name is written on His heart,
I know that while in heaven He stands, no tongue can tell me to depart…now that’s sweetness…